Who is the lamb, and who is the knife?

It was Phoebe's first birthday yesterday and today was the afternoon we went round to wish her a happy birthday. I can't believe it's been a year since she was born! She's a beautiful, charming little girl and I can't wait to see what her next year brings. Also looking forward for our holiday in Woolacombe with Mum, Katie and Phoebe for 5 days. Though my sister and I don't usually get on for long periods of time I'm hoping Phoebe will unite us for the 5 days.

Apart from Phoebe's birthday I've been kind of low the last day or so. After fainting again yesterday doing a simple walking exercise at physio I've been feeling really downhearted. I was hoping the fainting was starting to become better but I've now fainted five times in five weeks, been sick from vertigo several times and even though the movement disorder is getting better I just feel so sad and deflated. I dunno, maybe I'll feel better in a few days and move on but I feel like I'm against this uphill struggle all the time. And hearing about how all my friends are getting these great job interviews or jobs, or how they're going out to have fun, or even how they can leave the house on their own makes things worse. I hate this, I'm fighting it as hard as I can but it's hard. It's one of the hardest things I'm having to do. I wish something good would happen, like loose some weight or something - I can't even succeed at that let alone anything else. Just looking in the mirror sometimes and seeing what a failure my life has become makes me want to scream or melt into nonexistence. Which of course is really selfish. I just can't win.

Anyway, have today's outfit pics. I'll try and be a bit more cheerful next time, I'm sorry. ): 




Outfit: 
Dress - newlook, hat - from my mum, sandals - new look, black patent belt - h&m, lace ankle socks - primark, bracelets - ebay and gift from turkey, moon necklace - ebay.